Domestic Violence Awareness Month

By Laura Lombardi

October is nationally recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), a time to support survivors, honor victims and unite communities in working to end domestic violence and relationship abuse.

According to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, more than one in three women and one in six men in the United States experience contact sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.

The 2026 national DVAM campaign theme, “With Survivors, Always,” is dedicated to raising awareness of domestic violence and recognizing the voices and experiences of those who have lived through it. Throughout October, organizations and individuals across the country come together to uplift survivors and help communities better understand the realities of domestic violence.

The following letter was written by a local survivor who asked that it be published in the hope that sharing her experience may offer insight, encouragement and hope to others who may be struggling.

Dear Survivor,

Domestic Violence? But that couldn’t happen to me.

Maybe it’s something we have all witnessed and probably didn’t think too hard about the situation. The statements that I’ve heard: “I’m sure they know what they’re doing,” “If it’s bad enough they will leave,” or even “They probably did something to deserve it.”

We observe and we don’t meddle, we mind our business and go about our own lives. Maybe you grew up around it and it becomes something you’re used to. But who reports it? How do people know? How do you even know?

Twenty calls to the police department for help just to say nevermind because you don’t even know what kind of help you need. And then all of a sudden, this is the new normal.

A trip to jail, for both parties, just to be released and charges to be dropped because it’s now your lifestyle.

Relationships ruined with families and friends because they just don’t understand. Even hearing or feeling “it’s love.”

If it’s something you can’t talk about out loud and freely with your friends and family, it’s something that shouldn’t be done to you.

Domestic Violence has a month designated for awareness, October. Read up on it, look at statistics.

Whether it’s mood, mental health, or drug- and alcohol-induced, the behavior needs addressed. When a person becomes aware of what is happening and that it is not normal behavior, they need to know there are ways to get out of the situation, though it won’t be easy, just like it wasn’t easy falling into those patterns.

Seeking help can be scary with so many unknowns, but it also means you are working for a better life. Advocate for what you need, keep calling and report every call and threat. Find a group that is out there, a friend or just anyone you can trust.

You may not even know what you need for a while, and that’s OK. Stay safe and rest until you figure out what you need.

Are you the same person as you were? More than likely, no, which isn’t a bad thing. The thought of being the same person that allowed that at one time is nauseating… but being the person that became aware that I wouldn’t be alive if I stayed where I was, is even more sickening.

Looking back, you stayed with the no-contact order, you reported every detail and even when you thought it was a waste, you stuck with it. You advocated for yourself when you felt the pressure, when you didn’t want to and when you thought you were alone.

Then something happened, you put the work in and you didn’t go back. Your friends and family saw the change and they supported you emotionally even when you had the same story to tell. They were there because you were there for yourself.

I’ve tossed around being so upset that I’m not the same person until I don’t want to be who I was.

I don’t like the idea of being a statistic, but I’m a statistic that is alive and enjoying my family and friends and what life has to offer.

And I’m learning that the love I give myself is enough, that real love and kindness doesn’t come with price tags, bruises and excuses. It comes with consistency.

Thank you for sticking with the hard times. Yes, you have flashbacks and things that still scare you, however, you’re not alone.

Keep going, keep smiling and keep advocating for yourself.

With love,

Me

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

SafeLine Kansas: Call 1-888-363-2287 or text SAFE to 847411. SafeLine Kansas provides free, confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Sumner County: Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Resources 620-440-3700